Embracing Your Shadow Side

January 20, 2018

   Recently, I have had many powerful lessons that have brought me face to face with my shadow or what has personally been symbolically represented to me as my Black Panther. This Black Panther is an accumulation of the life circumstances I have been dealing with and all the ugly parts of myself such as negative feelings, beliefs, and mental mind chatter that has come rushing to the surface to stare me right in the face. It is fed by my worries and fears. It grows stronger with the story I repeat to myself and to the world from the parts of myself that I hate and the beliefs both conscious and unconscious that keep me stuck and dis-empowered. However, it is not just me that struggles with this, it is everyone. It is all the ways we keep ourselves stuck because we feel we are not good enough, we are undeserving, and instead of facing that Black Panther and finding the power, beauty, and blessings in those qualities that we believe are repulsive, we continue to allow them to destroy us and the very meaningful things and relationships we are trying to build in our lives.


   We came into this world to express all of us. We are designed to be whole and that was the grand design of Source/God. Being whole never meant being perfect, it meant to be in balance and to utilize all of who you are both the light and dark to create and contribute to the whole. However, from the time we are born we are learning and being conditioned as to what is “safe” and the ways in which we need to act in order to get our needs met. A part of ourselves accumulates our experiences and the things we see and are told, and we form a way to protect ourselves. This is often referred to as the conditioned self or our shadow self.  This is the patterning and beliefs that shape how we act and think and even what we attract into our lives.  When we try to express our authentic self, the parts of us that are joyful, creative, our unique gifts & talents, etc., we tend to have multiple obstacles manifest and we get stuck because we have some programming or belief in the back ground telling us that unless we do things a certain way or we behave a certain way we are unsafe, we are not good enough, we are undeserving, we don’t have enough, or we are going to be judged and hurt.  


   Many of us are so afraid to be who we really are because we are afraid of being judged or because other people have discounted us so many times we begin to doubt our own worth and distrust ourselves. We allow our shadow self to take over our mind and tell us all sorts of untrue things that prevent us from often times receiving the love or the help we need or even being able to open up and connect with others on deeper levels. We place our sense of worth and value on the material things we have, circumstances we are in, and in the opinions or values of others; instead of who we really are and what we really have to offer the world. Our actions are often determined by beliefs that were passed onto us, that if examined, may not even resonate with our values or really provide any truth or value for us.


   This shadow side of us keeps our focus on the past hurts, disappointments, and fears leaving us entangled to repeat the same story over and over again.  However, when we face our Black Panther and discover the truth; a powerful ally will walk with you and you begin to create a new and empowering story.


The key to success in any circumstance is to focus on what we want and where we are going and not on our fears or what is going wrong. Stop allowing temporary circumstances and others opinions and perceived judgments to rule our emotions and choices because ultimately you are the one who will reap positive results or suffer from those choices. Most important is to have a strong foundation within yourself and be in touch with your truth. Your self-worth has to be greater than your self-critic and you have to be able to identify when a thought or belief is not helpful in moving you forward because it just keeps you stuck in a dis-empowered story and prevents you from jumping onto that stepping stone out of pride or self-judgment. When you can start to see all your perceived weaknesses and ugly attributes as opportunities and turn them into strengths by choosing to let go of your judgment, guilt, grief and shame you are no longer a victim and you take away the negative power source. The greater your ability to find compassion and love with yourself and embrace all of who you are in all circumstances the more you will be able to move forward and to be able to forgive and deal with others with compassion while still owning your power.  The less you will need to try to control circumstances or other people because you will have a great faith and trust within yourself and the divine. You will believe and allow yourself to receive good things and embrace them instead of doing things to push them away or ruin them.  


Some big shadow themes and untrue beliefs are things like:


*If I say no, create healthy boundaries, or do what is best for me then I am not a nice person and people will not like me. Actually, every time you loving say no and honor yourself not only are you an example to others of being healthy but you also are able to stay healthy and may prevent bad circumstances which really leaves you with the ability to give more. It also helps you maintain strong relationships because you will not end up angry, resentful, bitter, and feeling used from giving too much.

* If I speak up for myself or say my truth people will think I am a bitch. The truth is if you have a powerful and influential voice you need to embrace that. Utilized in a loving and direct manner, it can be a powerful advocate for change and equality. It can also be inspiring and encourage other people to both use their voice and use it more diplomatically. People may not always agree with you, but thank God for people who can loving & diplomatically speak their truth and create powerful change.   

*I am only valuable if I have money. If you see money as energy, created from source, & just a tool for exchange then you will see that most of us work and in return we get money. The service industry is huge and revolves around acts of service, mentoring, the ability to show or teach people how to do something, emotional and mental support, the creation of goods or items and so many other things. People pay big money for these services and for the results they get from them physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  The people I value the most in my life are those people that are thoughtful, funny, knowledgeable, wise, and I have meaningful conversations with. It is those people whose character helps me to reset myself and my energy by being with or talking with them. Plus, not to mention I always enjoy a good meal cooked with love. Your worth and value really is about who you are. Invest in building yourself and the money will follow. 

*If I don’t earn the money, I don’t deserve it and I don’t deserve help. The truth is we are all a part of the whole and this is a give and receive universe. For you to be able to give you must learn how to receive. It is the universal law. As stated above, money is just energy and an exchange method. Everyone needs helps sometime in their life and to deny help from an honorable and true intentions resource or person is to shout to God and the universe that you (a creation of the divine) is not worthy and to reject what is needed to keep you sustained, well nourished, and maybe put you in alignment on a path to a place where you can give back on a grander scale. So, many of us have lost out in the bigger picture because our pride, ego, or fear of being judged has kept us from receiving the help we have needed that could have helped us to our greatness. It also feels really good to give and allowing someone else to give to you and help you sometimes also fills a need for them. Just remember, you don’t think you earned it but apparently God and Universe feels otherwise and is serving just rewards.


We have barely scratched the surface with these examples. Everyone has their own unique and complex shadow work and conditioned-self issues. Beginning to address your shadow self and dive deeper into self-love work is really the key to living and having a very successful and meaningful life. Thank you my Black Panther for the amazing lessons in personal empowerment and for walking by my side while I help others with this shadow healing. ~ Written by Brynna Lyon Certified Energy Therapist & Holistic Life Coach


If you are interested in powerful self-love and life transformation work please check out services provided at HealingwithBrynna.com  

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